Q: What has four legs but can't walk?
A: A table!

Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
A: Made a website!

Q: What gets bigger and bigger as you take more away from it?
A: A hole!

Q: How do you make a bandstand?
A: Take away their chairs!

Q. What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has thousands of letters in it?
A: Post Office!

Q: Why should you take a pencil to bed?
A: To draw the curtains!

Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop

Q: Why did the robber take a bath?
A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: I'll meet you at the corner

Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A. I better not tell you, it might spread.

Q: Where do sheep go to get haircuts?
A: To the Baa Baa shop!

Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A monkey!

Q: Why was the brush late?
A: It over swept!

Q: Why do cows have bells?
A: Because their horns don't work!

Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A. Tickle its funny bone!

Q. How do head lice travel?
A. British hair ways!

Q. What did one eye say to the other?
A. Between you and me, there's something that smells.

Q. Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
A. Where you left it!

Q: What is a baby's motto
A: If at first you don't succeed cry cry again!

 

Q: What kind of dog tells time?
A: A watch dog!

Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools.

Q: What colour is a burp?
A: Burple!!

Q: What is a snake's favourite subject?
A: Hiss - tory

Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: A Penguin with a nappy rash!!

Q: What do you call an ant who skips school?
A : A truant

Q: How do you start a teddy bear race?
A: Ready, teddy, go!

Q: Why do bears have fur coats?
A: Because they'd look stupid in anoraks!

Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
A: Winnie the Poo

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo?
A: A stripey jumper

Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
A: An octopuss!

Q: What do cows like to dance to?
A: Any kind of moosic you like!

Q: What are crisp, likes milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them?
A: Mice Krispies!

Q: What mouse was a Roman emperor?
A: Julius Cheeser!

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No eye deer.

Q. What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
A. A Wonkey.

Q. What do you call a fish with no eye?
A. Fsh.

Q. How many seconds are in a year?
A. 12, Jan. 2nd, Feb. 2nd, Mar. 2nd...