Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!

Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!

Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil till I get there

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn't I see you yesterday

Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes - here's a kite!

Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee
Buzz off can't you see I'm busy?

Doctor these pills you gave me for BO...
What's wrong with them?
They keep slipping out from under my arms!

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep.
That's baaaaaaaaaad!

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth.
So why did you come around then?
Well, I saw this light at the window

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee
Have you tried taking the spoon out?

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon!
Well sit still and don't stir!

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of me
One at a time please

Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse.
Take one of these every 4 laps!

Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she's invisible!
What sister?

Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!
Certainly, which way did you come in?

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible
Who said that?

Doctor: You need new glasses
Patient: How do you know?, I haven't told you whats wrong with me yet
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window!

Doctor, Doctor I feel like an apple.
We must get to the core of this!

Doctor, Doctor I'm boiling up!
Just simmer down!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an adder
Great, can you help me with my sums

Doctor, Doctor I've broke my arm in two places
Well don't go back there again then!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog.
How long have you felt like this?
Ever since I was a puppy!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a yo-yo.
Are you stringing me along!

Doctor Doctor I feel like a biscuit
Oh, You're Crackers!

Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film!
Hmmmm. Let's hope nothing develops.

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains
Well pull yourself together then

Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake
Sleep in another room then!

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire.
Necks please!

Doctor, Doctor my sister thinks she is a lift!
Well tell her to come in
I can't she doesn't stop at this floor!

Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork.
Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch!

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.
But I'm not allowed up on the couch!

Doctor, Doctor I've a split personality
Well, you'd better both sit down then!

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a nit
Will you get out of my hair!

Doctor, Doctor my husband smells like fish
Poor sole!

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a spider
What a web of lies!

Doctor, Doctor I've lost my memory!
When did this happen?
When did what happen?

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a rubber band
Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch there and tell me all about it!

Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing double.
Please sit on the couch.
Which one!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a moth
Get out of the way, youre in my light More...